The Kaos Theory

I heard this a long time ago and happened across it on the intertubes. You will never think of the word Armageddon again without busting a gut.

I was browsing around the intertubes the other day when I came across a post at Dissecting Leftism about a guy who was “fed up with the Leftist pretenses at mourning on the anniversary(Hiroshima Day to us in the sticks-ed) and wants to mount a counter-demonstration”. Sorry about that run-on sentence btw. Lo and behold he’s from my neck of the woods, albeit a bit farther south but still close by. I go over to his site and it’s a motherlode of right thinking bloggers all from the NW. Jackpot! To tell you the truth the way politics up here, I thought I was one of the handful left. Based on this I’ve decide, his site has been immediately added to the permenent blogroll. All three of you who visit here, please welcome Eugene Rant to the Kaos Theory.

Ummmmm Okay.  Where’s my holiday? I like pulling the wings off of fly’s and feeding them to spiders to placate Xenu but that’s just me being me. It’s not like we have to build and pay for special foot baths for them. We would not want to upset their fragile ego’s or the might go postal on us. I mean what’s not to like about a religion whose glorious founder was a pedophile? So what if she was only 9. Hell, age is only a social construct to hold back the less advantaged among us.

Maybe I’ll finally get that Fatwa issued against me. It’s always nice to have that on my resume.

The whole family was invited to Jen’s house to celebrate her 40th birthday on Saturday and you know it’s hard for me to pass up free food and beer. All in all it was a grand time and from what I’ve heard since then, we should not have left when we did. Evidently, it had something to do with Jen’s sister and no pants. Rumor on the grapevine confirms that its just is not a “Party” until this happens. Congrats Jen!

I’ve a added 2 local bloggers to the blogroll. When I mean local, I mean five house down from mine local.  First is, Stuff Jen Says. Jen is a lunatic and I mean that in an entirely positive way.  The second is my friend Rob’s site, Burnin Daylight, he’s a lunatic too. Stop over and say Hi!

I love watching the Tour but it’s not because I like to hear commentator Phil Liggett absolutely butcher the riders names. None of the riders get the treatment from Phil as Alejandro Valverde does. You see, Phil is English, meaning he has no clue to how to pronounce anything other than in English. Phil has this penchant for slurring Valverde’s first name. Instead of, Ali-han-droe, he finds an imaginary “th” somewhere so it becomes Ali-thane-droe. Note to Phil, the letter ‘J’ in Spanish sounds like an ‘h’. When he tries to get it right, he still screws it up. By the end of the daily broadcast, Valverde’s first name morph’s into Alessandro. Don’t get me started with Bob Roll, he’s a nut.

Happy 4th of July to all the Kaos minion and their families. I give you a picture from last year of all the kids enjoying the *ahem* fireworks *ahem*.

Here’s  another.

I’ve finally gotten around to loading the video from the little one’s dance recital from LAST year. I know, I’m a horrible parent. So shoot me!

That’s the title from a Daily Mail article I found via Hotair. It’s funny in a understated British way. I’m not sure it was written to be funny but I found this bit. So straight forward, no room for imagination but the point is made.

Dr De Bruyn and a colleague were on Trypot beach at Marion Island to study elephant seals when they noticed a young, adult male Antarctic fur seal, in good condition, attempting to copulate with an adult king penguin of unknown sex.

The 16 stone seal first subdued the two-and-a-half stone penguin by lying on it. The penguin flapped its flippers and attempted to stand and escape - but to no avail.

The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin, and thrusting its pelvis, trying to insert itself, unsuccessfully.

After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists reported.

The penguin did not appear to have been injured by the seal, they said.

Why a fur seal would indulge in such extreme sexual behaviour is unclear.

I love the way they used the word “subdued”, isn’t that a typical British way of speaking? The author could have used wrestled or overcame but he chose subdued. After my tea and crumpets, I shall subdue the dragon! I looked it up, 16 stones is about 231 lbs, that’s like a NFL DB size vs. 32 lbs child. No wonder he was just “flapped its flippers“, hell what could you do?  I wonder how many other predatory seals are going around pummeling their little cousins.? Where’s the UN Special Council on Mammal rape and how it is linked to global warming? Especially since it will be determined later by a consensus of scientists that it was Republican seal (Rovicus Rex).

After 45 minutes according to the seal but later verified by sources, that it determined the actually copulation time was more like 5 minutes. Sources could lie but the actions of the seal tells a completely different story. Typical of male interlopers of the male persausion(Yes, I mean all males as defined by the feminists), once the dirty deed is done we go off and…..

After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists reported.

Check this guy out. It’s long but the dude is friggin right on.

Black & White on the Grey Matters 2 (War)
h/t Baldilocks

In honor of Earth Day, we in the Kaos household have done are part. Yes, we have. Want to know how? Well, by driving my daughter the 3/4 of a mile in my 5.7 liter, gas guzzlin’, Gaia raping, resource reducing 2003 Chevy Suburban. Sweet. What have you done to save the Planet?

I went and saw the Los Angeles based punk rock band X last night at the Crystal Ballroom. I’ve probably seen this band 20 or so times since the early eighties and they are tighter than ever. The 2 hour set include all the favorites done the old fashion way, Rockin! Damn my ears are still ringing as I write this. One of my goals was to take some pictures but I was disappointed with my Canon G3’s inability to take good action shots with low lighting. (Insert Global Trekker remark on how stupid I am here and why didn’t you read the manual) However I was not disappointed with the black and white disposable I brought. Those came out a lot better than I ever thought.

Here’s Billy, Exene and John blasting it out.

Introducing Billy Zoom. It appears that Billy is wowing all the college aged girls based on the gaggle positioned right in front of him.

DJ Bonebrake on the skins.

The Mosh Pit.

Billy and Exene

Psycho Billy.

Billy Zoom is a god on guitar.

The last one wouldn’t cooperate.

Hard to believe this is just a Bass, Lead Guitar and Drums.

This is no god damn country to wander alone.

These guys have been playing together for over 30 years and they just get tighter and tighter as the years go by.

This is what I’m going to be doing tonight. Rockin out to one of the coolest bands EVAH!

Well, I finally got the newest version of WordPress to work correctly. The only problems being that all my customizations except the Random Header were lost and there’s something wacky with my blogroll. There seems to be a picture stuck right in the middle of where the Global-Trekker’s travel link was. In the old days I could login to the server where my site is hosted change the permissions on the file with chmod, go to the WordPress dashboard and edit the sidebar or index file. Since my host moved me to a new server, I have to go thru their “file manager” utility to edit the files. The only problem being is when I look at the actual sidebar code, I can’t find the code associated with that image. I’m stumped, not to mention the code is PHP which I’m vaguely familiar with. What would Chuck Norris do? Hmmmmmm.

Motorhead Rob sent me these great ones. First is this one, where somebody creates a Google search page with the key words “Chuck Norris“. Then there’s this page of Chuck Norris facts. Some of my favorite are:

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

When taking the SAT, write “Chuck Norris” for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris does not “style” his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

The Bible was originally titled “Chuck Norris and Friends”

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

And my favorite: Chuck Norris once counted to infinity, Twice.

You’ve got to check out the videos too.

**Update**

Thanks to Motorhead Rob for pointing out my link to “Chuck Norris” went to a not quite safe for work site. It’s not that bad really, it a site where you can select undies for your female better half and a “live” model appears on screen to model it for you. It’s a productivity killer if I ever saw one.

The “Shah” 11th in line to be the Shah of Iran sent me this one. Another instant classic.

If you think the blog has looked a little wonky, it’s because I upgrade to a newer version of WordPress. Upgrade is actually a misnomer, it should really be called “How to fuck up your blog in one easy lesson”. I’ve still got work to do because some of the wonderful plugins I had before don’t function with the new release. Great QA guys! One redeeming factor is I now have the ability to embed videos in my posts, so you are going to see some new categories like “War Pr0n” and “Stupid Things, Stupid People”.