The Kaos Theory

That’s the title from a Daily Mail article I found via Hotair. It’s funny in a understated British way. I’m not sure it was written to be funny but I found this bit. So straight forward, no room for imagination but the point is made.

Dr De Bruyn and a colleague were on Trypot beach at Marion Island to study elephant seals when they noticed a young, adult male Antarctic fur seal, in good condition, attempting to copulate with an adult king penguin of unknown sex.

The 16 stone seal first subdued the two-and-a-half stone penguin by lying on it. The penguin flapped its flippers and attempted to stand and escape - but to no avail.

The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin, and thrusting its pelvis, trying to insert itself, unsuccessfully.

After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists reported.

The penguin did not appear to have been injured by the seal, they said.

Why a fur seal would indulge in such extreme sexual behaviour is unclear.

I love the way they used the word “subdued”, isn’t that a typical British way of speaking? The author could have used wrestled or overcame but he chose subdued. After my tea and crumpets, I shall subdue the dragon! I looked it up, 16 stones is about 231 lbs, that’s like a NFL DB size vs. 32 lbs child. No wonder he was just “flapped its flippers“, hell what could you do?  I wonder how many other predatory seals are going around pummeling their little cousins.? Where’s the UN Special Council on Mammal rape and how it is linked to global warming? Especially since it will be determined later by a consensus of scientists that it was Republican seal (Rovicus Rex).

After 45 minutes according to the seal but later verified by sources, that it determined the actually copulation time was more like 5 minutes. Sources could lie but the actions of the seal tells a completely different story. Typical of male interlopers of the male persausion(Yes, I mean all males as defined by the feminists), once the dirty deed is done we go off and…..

After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists reported.

Check this guy out. It’s long but the dude is friggin right on.

Black & White on the Grey Matters 2 (War)
h/t Baldilocks

In honor of Earth Day, we in the Kaos household have done are part. Yes, we have. Want to know how? Well, by driving my daughter the 3/4 of a mile in my 5.7 liter, gas guzzlin’, Gaia raping, resource reducing 2003 Chevy Suburban. Sweet. What have you done to save the Planet?

I went and saw the Los Angeles based punk rock band X last night at the Crystal Ballroom. I’ve probably seen this band 20 or so times since the early eighties and they are tighter than ever. The 2 hour set include all the favorites done the old fashion way, Rockin! Damn my ears are still ringing as I write this. One of my goals was to take some pictures but I was disappointed with my Canon G3’s inability to take good action shots with low lighting. (Insert Global Trekker remark on how stupid I am here and why didn’t you read the manual) However I was not disappointed with the black and white disposable I brought. Those came out a lot better than I ever thought.

Here’s Billy, Exene and John blasting it out.

Introducing Billy Zoom. It appears that Billy is wowing all the college aged girls based on the gaggle positioned right in front of him.

DJ Bonebrake on the skins.

The Mosh Pit.

Billy and Exene

Psycho Billy.

Billy Zoom is a god on guitar.

The last one wouldn’t cooperate.

Hard to believe this is just a Bass, Lead Guitar and Drums.

This is no god damn country to wander alone.

These guys have been playing together for over 30 years and they just get tighter and tighter as the years go by.

This is what I’m going to be doing tonight. Rockin out to one of the coolest bands EVAH!

Well, I finally got the newest version of WordPress to work correctly. The only problems being that all my customizations except the Random Header were lost and there’s something wacky with my blogroll. There seems to be a picture stuck right in the middle of where the Global-Trekker’s travel link was. In the old days I could login to the server where my site is hosted change the permissions on the file with chmod, go to the WordPress dashboard and edit the sidebar or index file. Since my host moved me to a new server, I have to go thru their “file manager” utility to edit the files. The only problem being is when I look at the actual sidebar code, I can’t find the code associated with that image. I’m stumped, not to mention the code is PHP which I’m vaguely familiar with. What would Chuck Norris do? Hmmmmmm.

Motorhead Rob sent me these great ones. First is this one, where somebody creates a Google search page with the key words “Chuck Norris“. Then there’s this page of Chuck Norris facts. Some of my favorite are:

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

When taking the SAT, write “Chuck Norris” for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris does not “style” his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

The Bible was originally titled “Chuck Norris and Friends”

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

And my favorite: Chuck Norris once counted to infinity, Twice.

You’ve got to check out the videos too.

**Update**

Thanks to Motorhead Rob for pointing out my link to “Chuck Norris” went to a not quite safe for work site. It’s not that bad really, it a site where you can select undies for your female better half and a “live” model appears on screen to model it for you. It’s a productivity killer if I ever saw one.

The “Shah” 11th in line to be the Shah of Iran sent me this one. Another instant classic.

If you think the blog has looked a little wonky, it’s because I upgrade to a newer version of WordPress. Upgrade is actually a misnomer, it should really be called “How to fuck up your blog in one easy lesson”. I’ve still got work to do because some of the wonderful plugins I had before don’t function with the new release. Great QA guys! One redeeming factor is I now have the ability to embed videos in my posts, so you are going to see some new categories like “War Pr0n” and “Stupid Things, Stupid People”.

Idiot

Yes that is my name

I took……..

I had another weird dream last night. This time I was going fishing with my brother “Bert”. I don’t usually write about “Bert” considering the dude rarely returns my emails or phone calls. That aside, the dream consisted of me landing a ginormous Coho Salmon with, you guessed it, the Popeil Pocket fisherman. When we were little Mom bought us one and “Bert” fancied himself the super angler. The only problem was it was a piece of shiite. Casting was virtually impossible. Invariably the line would bird nest inside the contraption forcing you to spend most of your time untangling the line. BTW, “Bert” was not happy in my dream, that should have been his Coho. Here’s a pic of the version we had.

Here’s a few sites I’ve Stumbled Upon lately.

Socialism, What is it good for…… Death, Destruction and Misery is all I can see.
Project Management in a nutshell - You might have to enlarge it a bit.

Maze Frenzy - It’ll drive you friggin nuts.

Montana State Trooper - Make sure you’ve put down an liquids

The Webtender - Exactly what you’d expect.

The Dead Kennedys - Not the Kennedy’s and people they made dead.

Football is a collision Sport, not a contact Sport. 

You’ve got to try this out, I did it three different times and and the Mystic picked it every time. Somebody has to tell me why this works, I did it a bunch more times and it picked the right one over and over. Once again, I’ve been Stumbling about.

I need an intervention. Somebody needs to make me stop Stumbling.

Yes, on the intertubes, there is a website dedicated to making an igloo among other things. I’m completely addicted to StumbleUpon. Can’t……….stop…………looking…………

For any of you out there that uses Firefox as your web browser, I suggest getting the add on StumbleUpon.  It’s like a random web page surfer. All you have to do is sign up and select topics that my interest you like sports, cooking or organic gardening. You download a tool bar with a Stumble button and you are ready to have some fun. Click the SU button and a new completely random page is sent to you. I’m gathering links that I’m going to share with you all. Maybe I’ll make it a once a week feature of the Kaos Theory. I’ll provide a few links and you can tell me what you think. The first is Wikisky. Enjoy!

There’s something I just don’t get about organizations like NOW or Gay rights activists. If a self confessed Christian decided to whack their daughter for not being Evangelical enough, NOW would be screaming bloody murder and basically linking the murder to all Christians. If a bunch of straight guys decided to have fun in San Fran by pushing walls onto teh gays in the Castro district, all hell would break loose. So why are they so eerily silent when it comes to Moooslims? Click here. In Iran, there are actual laws stating that gays should be killed. Where’s the Outrage? How about the girl in Saudi Arabia who was scheduled to have 200 lashes applied to her back for the crime of “being caught in a car meeting with a man who was not her husband or a relative”. Where’s the Outrage? Well I decided to check the NOW website, I had to take a shower after that, to see what issues drive the organization.

1. Some patchouli wearing bag died.

2. Healtcare for illegal border crossers. 

3. Votes for Non-Sexist Car Insurance 

4. Affordable birth control for young’uns.

Here’s what Aqsa Parvez got.

She didn’t get to live like the patchouli lady until to 69.

She wasn’t illegal, so no health insurance.

Too young to drive.

Too young to have sex.

Instead she got her throat crushed by her Moooslime father for the audacity to wear jeans and no headscarf.

Where’s the Fucking Outrage?

I just love when the Oregon Ducks football team melts down again at the end of the season. Such a promising year dashed to rags due to horrible coaching and questionable concern for the health of your players. Just 3 weeks ago it was all so close, sitting pretty in the BCS standings, 3 wins away from a date in New Orleans but it all came crashing down in the desert in Arizona. However, when it came down to crunch time, when Rose Bowls or Championships are decided, it is once again the mighty men from Troy clutching roses in their teeth and celebrating another victory over their cross town rivals, UCLA aka the fighting Dullards. Once again the Ducks wilt but instead of taking it like men, the play the victim card. Oh we had so many injuries, if it wasn’t for those pesky injuries we would have at least 3 national championships by now. Okay Duck fan, SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE! I hope that trip to El Paso is going to be fun. Make sure to take in all those fantastic sites and things to do in southern Texas like spot the blond or women donkey wrestling. If anybody should be complaining about injuries it’s the Trojan’s. We lost two O line players on the same play, a quarterback playing with a broken finger and too many others to list. With all of this, they still end up winning the conference champoinship for the record sixth consectutive time and just missed a perfect record by a total of 8 points. To finish up this little football rant, I want to throw out kudo’s to Karl Dorrell. Thank you for being one of the worst coaches ever to guide those gutty little Bruins. You’ve enabled, in part, to make recruiting in So Cal easier for Pete Carroll. Also, what the feck were you trying to do at the end of the game? You’re only down 17 - 7 and have just stopped the Trojans on third and 3 at the goal line forcing the Trojans to either go for it or kick a FG. Instead of declining the penalty, you, in your infinite wisdom, decide to take the penalty and give Booty another shot at the end zone. What happend next is what happens to a team with an idiot coach. I trully hope they don’t fire you but give you a lifetime contract. You are one of the best things to happen to Trojan football in years.

This is for Cheeshead Todd. I thought your Badgers were going to end up in the Alamo bowl, I was wrong it’s the Outback Bowl. Bwahahahahaha! Don’t eat all that blooming onion in one sitting, you might get a tummy ache.

Who is this homely 11 year old child with the catapiller eye brows, pencil mustache and five o’clock shadow? Answer in the extended entry.

Read the rest of this entry »

I stole this from 2 Blowhards, who go it from somebody else who got it from another. Spot on, I’d say.

Recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Looks like I fried the motherboard on my home PC. Here’s how the events unfolded.

1. Bought new game, Call of Duty 4.

2. Video card can’t handle new game.

3. Buy new video card.

4. Game still doesn’t play.

5. Find out it needs to have a power supply of at least 400 watts.

6. Buy 650 watt power supply and install.

7. Plug in computer.

8. Everything starts to power up, get this, without me even pushing the power button on.

9. Computer seems to boot except I don’t get any display on the monitor and none of those informational beeps you’d normally get when you boot successfully.

10. Remove power supply and reinstall old one and old video card, Reboot.

11. See #9.

12. Friggin pissed off that I’ve got to pony up more cash to get a new Mobo, processor, HD and all the other little sh*t needed to rebuild the damn thing.