First a little background on myself. I don’t usually provide such information but I thought this was inetersting. My Dad was Iranian, I say this in the past tense because we lost him to cancer a few years ago. One of the businesses he created in Iran was the first carwash. That’s him on the left with my Grandmother on my Mom’s side, next is my Mom and I think my oldest brother. I’m not sure who the other guy is but he must have worked with my dad. One of the funny things, at least I think it’s funny, about that carwash was the ability of the machinery to obliterate car antenna or any other appendage sticking out of the car. Dad was constantly having to replace parts of peoples cars frequently and to calm down irate customers with damaged autos. I think this was taken during the mid-sixties based on the size of my brother. To say the least, the business was challenging and eventually he either sold or closed it.
Archive for March, 2006
Looks like I came in second at the bi-weekly caption contest at Outside the Beltway. Outside-standing!.
Welcome all who have visited from Outside the Beltway, I know this is a shameless attempt at driving traffic my way but I gotta try. Please feel free to roam around and don’t forget to check the archives.
Should the phone book manufacturers go the way of buggy whip makers? With all the vast information right at your finger tips via the internet, why would anyone need a phone book? When was the last time you used one for it’s intended purpose? Sure they can come in handy when you need to prop open a door or something like that. The reason I ask this seemingly innocuous question? Well, within the last week I have been delivered to my front door, not one, not two but THREE different phone books totaling 5 inches in thickness. There is one from DEX with a combo white and yellow pages and 2 from Verizon. Like the DEX, there is the standard version from Verizon and it appears a mini version in which the font is so small it is impossible to read without a magnifying glass. Also they all stink to high heaven, I mean not in content but they have this funky smell to them like they were printed in a combo Elmers glue and dog piss.
I finally got around to seeing a couple of the Academy Award nominees. First movie we watched was “Walk the Line’. I enjoyed it. I can say it was the best movie of the year since I haven’t seen the rest of the list but it was highly entertaining. I didn’t know much about Johnny Cash until I saw it but the movie has sparked an interest in me to learn more about him and his life. Joaquin Phoenix handled the characterization quite well, understated but seemingly understanding the complex nuances of the man. Who can’t love Reese Witherspoon, she also did an admirable job depiciting June Cash Carter. It was the type of movie you can sit and watch with your Auntie and not worry about having to explain to her why the f-bombed is dropped every 10 words. Overall rating, 7.5 on the Kaos scale.
The wifey had been in CA to visit her mom and they had all watched “Crash”. When she got back she implored me to rent it which I did. I had heard many reviews and comments in the blogosphere so I was jaded but my jadedness was completely justified. I have lived in LA for 37 of my 41 years so I have an understanding about the different cultures and peoples who inhabit the City of Angels. From Korea Town near downtown to the affluent areas of Beverley Hills to the beach cities, I don’t recognize the directors vision of LA. One thing I can say is how disgusting it is how he pigeon holed races into neat little stereotypes, right out of the Leni Riefenstahl school of film making. Might as well make Jew into rats as far as I’m concerned. Being half Iranian I take umbrage with the shopkeeper/would be child killer. It appears the director has never been in a middle eastern market himself because if he had he would realize 99.999999999999 percent are not wild-eyed lunatics he so causually depicts. By doing this he impugns all the good people who get up each morning and work hard at the jobs, providing for their families and lumps everybody in the evil stewpot of racism. This also goes for the remaining “characters” he fits into his nice little stereotypical box. White Police officer/Opressor of minorities, Black youth/Carjacker thugs, Hispanics/Steal your house whicle you’re not looking, Chinese/Slave importer, Jew/ruler of the world, it just went on and on. He even mocks black people who try to overcome this perceived racism by making them Uncle Toms. I understand the director tried to make all this go away but having the characters “realize their wrongs” towards the end therefore making the “point” of “racism”. Why do that? Why not go all the way and show how racist EVERYBODY is and keep it as that? Wouldn’t that be a more salient point? I’m sure he had to modify his theme to make sure he got his picture made because I believe if he had any balls at all he wouldn’t have made the characters all stay the same to reinforce the hubris of “All Racism, All the time USA”. Kaos scale 5.5 out of 10.
The last movie was “The 40 year old Virgin”, not on the nominees list I understand but highly enjoyable anyway. We watched the unedited version which is why I think I liked it so much. Lotsa poddy humor with a guy walking around with an erection in the morning. Come on guys, we’ve all done that haven’t we? My favorite was the Pakistani guy. Almost wet the pants everytime he opened his mouth. I wish I could remember some of his lines, they will be classic in the future like, “Did you get the memo on the TSP reports?’ from Office Space. As the King Julian of the Lemurs says it’s time for me to “Move it, Move it”. BTW, I like to “Move it Move it”.
Awhile back I did a post noticing how much Kajagoogoo and the Doodlebops looked alike. I used Blogger’s image uploader to post the pictures on my blog. Well it seems if you do this the picture is sent to Google images with a pseudo link to this site. Lately since I have been doing more trackbacks with some of the bigger named blogs, I’ve been checking my visitor stats regularly to see what kind of traffic it’s generating. You wouldn’t believe the number of hits I get from these pics. I would guess at least 9 out of 10 are for the Doodlebops and not just from the US but from all over the world. Very strange indeed. Here’s the link.
For the longest time, well since 1/1/06, I kept getting the infamous “HTTP 404 not found” error when I clicked the link for Jan – Mar 2006 archives. The weird thing is I could see the files on the server for my posts. So I did some bulletin board diving at my host and found out my answer. In order for the link to work, my archive files needed to be in the public_html folder and not on the root. When I copied the files over, Voila!, they are there. Woo friggin Hoo! I had dreams about this last night so this was the first thing I did this morning.
Since we were having Granny’s 90th birthday party at our house at noon, I needed to get out early. Starting at about 8:45 am I left the house fully bundled up. I mean it was 45 degrees and cloudy, brrr. I decided to I needed to push the distance some this week and talked myself into riding out to Estacada and back. It was one of those rides that my head tried over and over again to talk me out of it, like I had one of those gremlins on my shoulder from a Bugs Bunny cartoon. You can always ride tomorrow or why don’t you turn around here, it’s so nice and toastie in the house? Each time the little devil tried to discourage me from continuing, I kept pushing on. I had to because I knew when I finished the endorphins would give me the buzz and I like that buzz. So I trundled off down the steep hill from my house and out to the open road. I felt good and kept a nice tempo for the first three or so miles while my legs and body warmed up. As Emeril would say I “kicked it up a notch” for the next 4.5 miles when the gremlin visited. That when I saw a sign that said “Damascus 3 mi”. Why don’t I just cut this a little short I thought, I’d still be putting in some mileage. I turned on to the road and preceded to do a short climb up around a corner when I saw what I feared. An extremely steep hill seemlingly going on forever. I was committed to this now and plodded up the hill. After about 1/2 a mile in was gassed, my legs felt like they’d fused in a straight position. Alternating between standing in the peddles and sitting in the saddle didn’t seem to help. I pulled off to the side to catch my breath and decide what to do. While standing, well slumped over the handlebars, I espied a lady unloading her trailer in her driveway. I better find out where this hill ends so I called to her and asked “How far to the top?” and she nonchalantly replied “Oh, you’re about halfway there but you haven’t got to the steep part yet” This time the gremlin and I were in complete agreement and I headed back down the slope. But the gremlin hadn’t got the best of me yet, I could have easily continue back to the warm abode by turning right or I could continue on by going left. Overcoming the steely glare of the gremlin I went left. Somehow the sight of the neverending hill gave me new life and my legs came back. Once again the evil green thing on my shoulder reared his mug and whispered in my ear, “Did you know it’s raining now?”. I could barely see as the rain splashed in my face. Tempted again to capitulate to the G man I continued on. This scenario happend again at Barton, the 211 interchange and Eagle Creek but I finally arrived in Estacada with a sense of accomplishment. I’d overcome that little bastard and spit him out. Funny thing, I didn’t see him on the way home. I hope I left him on the park bench outside the city hall of Estacada.(BTW, that’s a picture of it in the link). Almost forgot the stats portion, 33.62 miles with an average speed of 14.3mph.
Courtesy of Al at Coldfury, here’s a video of a genuine knucklehead on a bike. Racing down quite a steep hill made up mostly of volcanic scree at 163 kph when your bike has a wardrobe malfunction. Ouch, that will trully leave a mark. The sad part is all the people trying to help this guy. He’s obviously in great pain but they insist on making him stand up. He’s ghostly white and in complete shock.
When the French can’t even win races on their home turf they might as well just quite cycling all together. This makes it 2 years in a row Americans have won this classic. That’s going to leave a mark on the French psyche. BTW, the French have updated their terrorism alert status from “Run” to “Hide”. I’m sorry it’s just too much fun to ridicule the frogs.
I was watching the rebroadcast of the race on OLN and Bob Roll stated an astonishing fact. The last Froggie to win a STAGE of Paris-Nice was Laurent Jalabert in 1997.
It’s a real big .wmv file and it took my cable connection awhile to download it. It’s tragic and kind of funny in a way. One thing I learned is the phrase “Fucking Hell” is now universal. It means the same in any language.
Any ideas on free podcast software?
|You Are Guinness|
You know beer well, and you’ll only drink the best beers in the world.
Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them.
When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all – especially about subjects you don’t know well.
But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around.
We’ll Duh! I didn’t need a quiz to figure that out.
Up to this point I have collected $135 for the American Lung Association. Therefore, I’m officially entered in the ride. Woo-Hoo! BTW, Generlissimo Francisco Franco is still dead at the age of 82.
This has to be one of the funniest things I’ve read in quite awhile. Reminds me of when my dad would tell us Persian jokes but the punchline wasn’t funny unless you were Persian. One of the commentators thought it was a photoshop job but was quicky proven wrong by someone who actually know Chinese, what a tool. Well, here are some of my favorites.
“Fragrant spring onion sauce explodes cow son”
If I was a male cow in China I’d be afraid, very very afraid of onions. But after they explode the cow they decide to
“Hot fragrant spring onion return meat”
I mean how degrading to the poor cow family, first you blow up my son then you give him back?
Then there’s this.
“Fragrant bone in garlic in strange flavor”
Strange Flavor? I’ll say.
Now I know where the strange flavor comes from.
“Big bowl fresh immerse miscellaneous germ”
E-coli? Wheat germ? Nothing gives me the munchies like the following.
“Japanese bean curd hoof sinew pot”
I can’t get enough, really I just can’t get enough of this stuff. Evidently once you’ve finished, you can floss too. Pass the sinew please I’ve got piece of
“Big bowl four treasure frog” stuck in my teeth, right next to the
“Big bowl golden mushroom cowboy meat” That’s got a Brokeback joke in it somewhere.
Now it’s the poor fish’s turn to be humiliated, by a bean no less.
“A west bean pays the fish a soup”
How do you make a living getting paid just soup? It also seems chicken and veggies in China have some issues with each other.
“Lotus leaf black mushrooms steams chicken”
Yeah, I’d be steamed too if some black mushrooms were dissing me. But the fish actually take action.
“Silver fish steams vegetable sponge”
But it seems the vegetables have the last laugh in this epicurial battle.
“Sour bamboo shoot steams fish mouth”
Aaahaa, take that you fish mouth!
Hungry for a “Dilicious Snack” well there is always
“Cowboy leg beautiful pole”
However, if you eat the cowboy leg it gives you
“Strange flavor of inside freasuse”
I mean for only 8 yuan, its such a bargain.
If you need your soup repaired, the next entrees will do the trick.
“Man fruit braise the north almond” or
“Sydney and White tree fungus braise pig heart” or
“The fig braises the lean meat”
I think these should translated as
“The law firm, Sydney & White, “We specialize in…..”
For your first dish my I suggest
“Carbon burns black bowel (A)” or a nice and tasty
What about white bowels? I sense a version of reverse discrimination here. Damn it, call the National Association for the Aadvancement of Honkie’s, we want repairations! Which include a heeping plate of
“J&J living the bowel”!
The guy that wrote the post has the best summation of the following Duck dish.
“Fuck the salt(beautiful pole) duck chin”
Duck Bukkake always makes me feel full.
Stick a fork in me, I’m done.
I’ve started my training for the Reach the Beach ride in May. Yesterday, I rode the always dependable loop to Linneman Station. 21 miles with an average speed of 14.6 mph. The weather was perfect, almost 60 degrees at noon with little or no wind. Damn near a heatwave for this time of year in Portland. So warm in fact I rode in my bib shorts instead of the Long John variety I’ve been wearing lately. I layered up the top with my body liner shirt, my wool short-sleeved jersey topped of with a normal summer jersey. I was not the least bit cold. For the first 6 miles I was cranking out some good speed, 21 to 22 mph, through the rollers and a couple of decent climbs. Once I got to Linnemann and on to the Springwater I tried to keep up the speed but I ran into a headwind knocking my rate down to 17 to 18 mph. I felt real good for most of the ride while pushing the tempo. That lasted until I got to the last set of hills about five miles from the house. This section has several steep sections seemingly going on forever. At the top of the final climb, which I call Cranberry Hill because of the name of the cross street at the top, my legs were heavy. The strange thing about climbing the last hill was what was going on in my mind. I don’t remember riding to the top. I was concentrating so hard on pushing the peddles, I didn’t notice I’d crossed over the threshold and was heading down the decline. That gave me a burst of confidence I will need when I do the Reach the Beach ride. Because based on the topo map there will be many more like Cranberry Hill, probably longer and steeper too.