Archive for September, 2006

“The Cover Band for Unknown Songs”

Saturday, September 30th, 2006

That was my Father-in-Law’s official summary of the 5 piece Jazz band named Ben Fowler. After a great dinner at The Ringside with the wifey, her father and our friend Heather we all decided to visit the locally famous jazz joint Jimmy Maks. The band du jour was a quintet aptly named Ben Fowler because this band is all about Ben Fowler and nothing more. Unfortunately for the patrons last night Ben’s saxaphone seemed off key to the untrained ear. But then again when can you tell if a person playing jazz is following the music anyway. The best way to explain this situation is the following. The band would start a song, let’s say with the keyboardist doing a little solo accompanied by the drummer. Then the guitarist would kick in a few jazzy riffs and the bass player would crank out a nice beat. At this point you’re thinking to yourself, hey this is pretty cool. But then the carnage would begin. Ben, standing stoically (see pic below) clutching his weapon of mass destruction would start to play. He sounded like he just got out of Mr. Beers 7th grade beginner band practice. What a let down. I mean the rest of the band must be silently cursing to themselves. We sound great until Mr. Doofus pipes in. Another way to put this is let’s say you go the a restaurant and order a nice big juicy fat steak. When your order arrives it looks absolutely wonderful until you take your first bite of the steak only to find out you are eating camel hump.

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Motivational Poster

Friday, September 29th, 2006

You’ve all seen those motivational posters employers put in their offices to inspire the workforce. Well I found a site where you can create your own for free. Below the fold is mine.

h/t it comes in pints? 

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The Man Who Skied Down Everest

Wednesday, September 27th, 2006

One of the coolest things about getting a HDTV is all the fantastic HD programs out there. My cable company has about 15 – 20 HD channels available for me to view. Add this with a DVR and it’s all golden. I just finished watching an unbelievable documentary from the Discovery Channel called The Man who skied down Everest. A trully wonderful film about this Japanese speed skier and daredevil, Yuichiro Miura who risked death to ski down a major portion of the mountain. In HD, the cinematography is outstanding, I’m sure in Standard TV is great as well but something about seeing the majestic mountains in crystal clear plasma is something to behold. An important point I’d like to make about this movie is Miura is not some sort of nutjob looking for attention. He has a Zen thing going for him. It’s more of a philosphical view harkening back to the days of the legendary Samurai warriors. And he’s a stud, in the old fashion way. He has skied down ALL of the largest peaks on seven continents as well as competeing in 2 Olympics, the last being 1994 in Lillehammer. Consider this little tidbit, at one point in the movie he reflects on what his newborn son would think of his exploits. I thought, well the son would think he’s a superman or crazy as a fox. Based on what I researched, it appears he is superman because in 2003 at the age of 70, he and his son climbed Everest together.

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My Fantasy Football Team is …….

Monday, September 25th, 2006

trully awful this week. The team I’m going up against already has 108 points based on how they are accumulated. Currently at the halftime of the MNF game I have 52. Since I have 3 Saints players, Reggie Bush, Drew Brees and Joe Horn I was praying for big points out of them. Unfortunely for me it’s the other Saints players doing all the scoring. Firstly, they block a punt for a TD then some unknown guy takes a reverse for a score. At this point I need 57 points in the second half. It can be done because if Brees throws 3 or so TD passes to either Horn or Bush, I get 6 points for Brees and 6 for the receiver thats 36 points and you can get points for yardage as well. Running backs and receivers get one point for every 10 yards and quaterbacks get a point for every 25 yds of passing. Here’s my starting lineup from this week and the points they scored.

RB Edgerin James 15 points – not bad

WR Amani Toomer 8 points – disappointing

TE Reggie Kelly – Goose egg, my normal TE is Tony Gonzalez but SD has a bye this week

PK Robbie Gould – lone bright spot 13 points on FG’s

Defense Jaquars – 6 points, last week they had 20 so this is another disappointment.

At half Brees and Bush have 4 points and Horn has 2.

The team I’m up against had Carson Palmer and Michael Westbrook. Between the 2 of them they had 58 points.

The Saints drive down the field at the start of the 3rd quarter, burn 8 minutes off the clock, get all the way to the one yard line and have to settle for a FG. Reggie had two shots for a TD but got stuffed. Damn.

On Wisconsin, On Wisconsin…..

Saturday, September 23rd, 2006

to another humiliating defeat. Once again coming up short on their quest for a national championship in NCAA football. Ponder this stat, Clemson and Georgia Tech have more championship banners in football the the Badgers. I guess there is always the Tangerine/Weedeater/Chick-fil-a bowl in their future.

F*ck

Thursday, September 21st, 2006

Brian “I’m a Fighter, Man!” sent me this one from The Onion. By his sending me this explains alot about Brian’s view of the world. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you cuz I did. (Absolutely NSFW).

On a side note, these chicks have to be the hottest cartoon chicks ever. If Brian had a remote chance to tap either one of them or both, I believe he would.

Caption This Part III

Friday, September 15th, 2006

Found this picture while visiting one of my favorite sites Wuzzadem. He’s got a link to this guys homepage that you just have to see. I accidentally clicked on this guys picture and aaaaaahhhhh! Oh my eyes. Please.look.away. Leave your best or worst captions in the comments and you will win absolutely nothing. Gotta love the phrase “Nut Cuddlers” LMAO! BTW what’s up with that hat? Look ma, it’s the leather tinman from OZ. If I only had some nut cuddlers……
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That’s gonna leave a mark

Friday, September 15th, 2006

Wasting time again around the intertubes and I came across this amazing Japanese gameshow. The premise is to recite a tongue twister without screwing it up. If you do the consequences are rather extreme.

h/t Cold Fury

Global-Trekker

Thursday, September 14th, 2006

My buddy KB at Global-trekker has allowed me to post on his site as a contributor. My main focus will be photgraphy, travel and issues relating to such. KB runs a smooth operation and has enormous amounts of travel and photo related items to peruse. I highly suggest a visit to check it out. For me, I’m off camping, boating and fishing this weekend. Probably the last dry weekend of the year so I better take advantage of it. See you(all 2 regular visitors) on Sunday. Hopefully with pics galore.

Those sexually frustrated Muslims

Wednesday, September 13th, 2006

Once again some weirdo from the Middle East, this time from Qatar, ends up at my site looking for pr0n. First it was some sicko looking for a Paki fucking movie, now this. I did a post back in April of 2005 at my really old site thekaostheory.blogspot.com on how to get fired in 50 easy ways. Part of the post was a reference to farmgirls.com(nsfw) and setting your boss’ homepage on his pc to it, then emailing tech support that he had a problem with his computer. Well this guy finds me thru google, apparently I’m number 10 on a search for farmgirls.com. Because of this I’ve figured out how to win the war on terror. Just drop thousands of cases on KY jelly into muslim countries with laptops dedicated strictly to bad pr0n. While the male population is busy beating their meats, invade. You know it’s gotta be kinda hard(no pun intended) to fire an RPG with one hand polishing the bishop and with the other hand trying to aim it. Just an idea. I expect a call from Centcom congratulating me on my wise plan or a fatwa issued against The Kaos Theory. Either way, I’ll be famous.

9/11

Monday, September 11th, 2006

I’d like to say something profound and deep on the subject but the only thing I see is red. Pure anger.

Poker

Sunday, September 10th, 2006

After a losing streak of biblical proportions, 0 for 6, I finally brought home money in my pocket after a night of poker. I know I’m probably jinxing myself into another bad streak but what the h*ll.

Caption This Part II

Friday, September 8th, 2006

Ok, here’s some fun for Friday. Please add you best caption in the comments to the picture below. I know I used it in another post from the State fair but I couldn’t resist. Somehow it begs to be ridiculed. OTB OTB OTB!
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Oregon State Fair

Sunday, September 3rd, 2006

Took the family to the Oregon State Fair in Salem for some fun and frivolity. Since Grandpa was down from Seattle for the weekend, we dragged him along as well. Normally I don’t like going to fairs, just too many people, impossible to park etc but this time is was nice. Evidently todays theme at the fair was, How fat can we be? or Elephant Ears my Ass. I can’t ever remember seeing so many obese people all at the same time and place. Don’t get me started about the dude at the beer garden with his shirt off trying to get some action with Momma two tooth from the trailer park. The wife and little one had a blast on some rides while I took pictures of the surroundings. Grandpa oogled the young girls as he’s been known to do, the guy is an animal I tell you. We ate corndogs, sno-cones and various other carny fare trying to fit it with the theme of the day. Thankfully, we still have a long way to go in that department. Here are some pics I took today. Enjoy!

Dora the Esplorer made an appearance.

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The devil and Juan Valdez.
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Future strips of bacon.
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You looking at me? I said…….125_2525.JPG

No no no, I said are YOU looking at me!

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Change machine?
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Holy shiite Batman!
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really, I’m not gay…see.
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Aaaaaah!

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Football Season is Officially ON!

Saturday, September 2nd, 2006

Thus begins the favorite part of the year for me. Football season is underway which means my wife is none to happy. I really don’t give a rat’s patoutie about Pro ball, my heart and passion lies with the boys who play on Saturday’s. If you haven’t figured it out by now that I’m an intense USC Trojan fan. If they lose a game, I can’t even read the sports page, visit ESPN.com or listen to sports talk radio. I take it waaaaaaay too seriously but what the heck it’s fun. Well, there is a boatload of games on today and my goal is to watch as many as I can. However right at this moment in time, my FRIGGIN CABLE IS FRIGGIN DOWN! %#@$%^&!