Perusing the stats at SiteMeter I’m coming across some interesting trends regarding how people reach this site. None of this is anywhere near scientific nor should it be mistaken as fact. Here are basics. Many people find their way to the Kaos Theory searching for the word ‘ataud’ and I can say 99.9% are from a Latin language derivative. I can also vouch for about 95% of the hits I get for a search for “Blond” or “BMW1973″ come from Northern European countries like Germany and Holland. But of course, it’s those people who come from countries whose majority adhere to the ROP (Religion of Peace, PBUH)find me by googling “farmanimals.com and Pakistani Focker movies. Just thought you should know.
Archive for October, 2006
A few weeks ago my wife received a ticket for not wearing her seat belt while operating a motor vehicle, $91 bucks. Usually, you have the option to go to a class and have the violation expunged from your record but the Copper my wife was dealing with was an a$$h*le about it and didn’t offer. Resourceful, as the wife is known to be, she talked to one of her friends who happens to be an officer himself. Be a nice gent that he is, he fetched her the paperwork and told her what she needed to do. Well the date for having all this done was today. This forced her to go to the class last night. At some point everybody goes to one these things. You know where they show you pictures of people wrapped around trees, smashed heads and severed body parts. Kind of a Scared Straight for drivers. Well, she gets back from this and goes on and on about what she learned, vowing to always wear her seat belt from now on. Now I wish there was a class like this for credit card users. They could show movies of people getting their credit cards cut in half by an eager clerk. Slo-motion shots of the user flipping through the mail with nothing but canceled credit notices. Finally in the last scene you would see a haggard old bitty walking into the sunset wearing tube socks and two different types of shoes pushing a grocery cart.
For no particular reason my daughtar just renamed our 9 year cat old Gassy. No longer is she bequethed the name Twister. The one thing I forgot to tell you about our Twister is that it went lost for six months. Just like that, it done disdapeer’d! How do you think that happnend? No, I didn’t do it, though I can confess to wishing it but last I checked “thought crimes” is just a misdemeanor. I’ve got that going for me. But getting back to the story, I was p*issed. The cat comes back after 6 months and my exalted glorious title of “most gaseous” is usurped in a manner of moments. DAMN THOSE TABBIES!
I know now why College football is far superior a spectator sport to it’s professional counterpart. The pro coaches are p#ssies or should I say the way pro football is played makes them p#ssies. The coaches are so staid in there ways in critical situations taking any of the true challenge out of the game. What’s wrong with going on fourth down early in a game? Here’s what they’d say.
Oooooh noooooo. what would the talking heads say? or Well, based on the computer animation from Dreamworks, a draw play on a 4th and 3 won’t work 25% on 3rd Sundays in October but our Yanamamo shaman said……. You know what I mean.
Watching College ball is a joy. There’s nothing like it in football. Anybody can basically beat anybody anytime. Home or Away. It doesn’t matter. Finally, this is my advice to the powers that be who run Pro football – Let’me play dammit!
I think I have away of explanning why I’m beginning to despise pro sports in general execpt for maybe the NBA. However I do hate the NBA but here reasons are quite a different post. ain for the NBA has other reasons not applicable right now. To me, the coaches are acting like poker or high dollar card pros instead they the exact opposite. They all seem to follow the same dogmatic formula to coaching one of the most exciting sports on the planet.
WTF am I talking about? Somebody please explain what I was trying to say because I have no idea.
Clicking on the link will take you to a youtube video of a fireworks factory going off. This one’s for you Dave.
The Kid from Brooklyn is back and in rare form. Take a gander. Definitely NSFW.
I know I’m real boring lately. Works has been a bear and I can’t seem to think of anything pertinent to write so I (d)evolve into Mr. Fantasy Football. Last week was a great week for The Kaos Theory team, crushing the opponent 87 – 48 and it wasn’t even that close. Finally Reggie Bush found the endzone and the Edge had a decent game. Once again my kicker Gould from da Bears was golden. Evidently he pronounces it “gold” hence the play on words. Aren’t I clever? My defensive team had an outstanding week tallying 28 points, 6 of those are from Bushs’ punt return for a TD, 3 int, one fumble recovery and 6 sacks. The only drawback was my receiver corps. I can’t remember the last time they hit paydirt, it must have been week one. Here’s the roundup of my team.
QB Brees – 12 points – pedestrian numbers this week but hopefully he can put up some points against the Titans at home.
RB Bush – 8 – I think this will break him out of his funk and the points will start rolling in.
RB James – 11 – all his points came on yardage and no scores. He needs to get in the endzone but against ds Bears this week, I’m not counting on it.
WR – Edwards – a measly 2 points. He can go only up from this point.
WR – Toomer – 8 – not bad but he needs TD’s.
TE Gonzalez – 2 – Up by 41 points I didn’t think he’d get much PT.
K Gould – 16 – This guy was the biggest steal of the draft. I figured the Bears offense would move the ball but not put it in the zone that much. That would mean alot of FG attempts and more 3 pointers than xp’s.
Defense Jaquars – 28 – Absolutely dismantled the Jets.
I friggin finally won! Woo Hoo! Honestly though I should have lost. The team I was up against had 2 players on a bye week and if they had used their substitutes they would have won easily. At the beginning of the night I had a commanding lead of 63 to 19 but McNabb was playing for Philly and Driver for the Pack. McNabb had an outstanding game tallying 37 points all by himself. This meant Driver only had to produce 8 points for me to lose. Thankfully he only had 5. But a W is a W and I’ll take it. 63 – 61. Hopefully next week I’ll get some touchdowns from my runningbacks because up to this point they haven’t danced in the endzone yet. Here’s a roundup of my players scoring.
QB Brees – 21 points – Overall not bad
RB Bush – 4 – He’s got to get in the endzone one of these days.
RB James – 7 – See above with Bush
WR Bryant – 2 points – He’s going to the bench because Toomer had a bye.
WR Edwards – 7 – nice game for him but he also needs some TD’s
TE Gonzalez – 5 – Since he was in a blowout he probably didn’t play too much in the second half but still no TD’s.
K Gould – 13 – This guy’s my secret weapon. I don’t think Chicago’s offense is that good so he’ll get alot of FG’s.
Defense Jaquars – 4 points – They got shelled by the Skins for almost 500 ydds and 36 points.
This week I was lucky but my guys should be able to put up some more points. H*ll I won this week and without a WR, RB or TE getting in the endzone. If I get a TD out of each of those guys, my game is not even close.