Sorry about all the gramatical mistakes in the following but it’s all off the top of my head while watching about an hour of King Kong. The rest is unedited and off the cuff. Enjoy!
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Horrible movie. I can let that sentiment be my entire critique of thw whole movie but what fun would that be
1. afeter he drags her thru the mud he turns pussy monkey when she decides to put her foot down, i am woman hear me roar. what horseshit.
2, runnung with the dinos? thses people were idiots, just let them run by you. you can always use your gun. during that whole running they didnt use their guns once. all bc one guy said dont waste youre ammo earlier they dont fire a shot. then later when they encounter kong they fire willy nilly. y dont they aim for the eyes, a blind kong is a dead kong. actress hot needs bigger boobs
3. t rex find her decides sauropod is just not enuf, must have more, even if just tiny morsel, insert political joke here.
t rex ditches 3 ton meal, for tiny morsel
4. KK saves the day,kicks the shit out of 2 t rexi, shit 3 t rexii. all the while holding on to the morsel, but shes fine, she been to nasa and knows how to handle 10g’s for lateral force without any internal injuries or broken bones.
5. falls off cliff with KK and miraculously catches a branch mid fall yet again no injuries from the fall and a catch by KK after couple hundred feet.
6. tossed about again( see point 5.)
7 KK kicks t rex ass by pulling jaws past breaking point
8. Look of love from thge morsel. NOW they know they are in love, awe so sweet.
9 back to the femme fatale. big nose boy, from some other movie i cant remember and i guess he won an AA for it, poor sap, got all that fame and now its all wasted on this krep. Just remember the name, its Adrian Brody.
Holy shit this island has carnivorous banana slugs! and catapillers and spiders. Banana slug 1 expendable extra 0, thats got to leave a mark. WOW, now there are giant… oh shit, that guy flew out of nowhere. WTF, he saved all their bacon.ve
10. more visual love b/t the monkey and the hottie. she knows his problem, not enuf cuddling and juggling I guess. oh now its time to placate the greens, of course KK lives in the most pristine environment on the planet and by exploiting him we doom the world to glow ball warming, ALL HAIL THE GORACLE! This is fun.
11. Now the evil plot is set in motion. time to dope up the monkey and sell tickets cuz u know any good capitalist pig would do the same. It’s for the children dam it!
12. Brodie-odie-oh is now set to rescue the morsel. Does the morsel want to be rescued? Once u go monkey?
13. KK needs glasses, his big rival is right in front of him and he can’t even him. Ok flying dinos want to attack the biggest thing on the island and leave the tiny easily digestible morsels behind?
`4 biggest leap in the movie. ok at the beginning of th emovie they lower the morsel down to KK by the means of a giant bridge, evidently kk cant get over this chasm, but now he can leap over this said chasm, no problem.
15 brody trys to cop a feel on the morsel but KK is having nothing of it.
16 arnie moment, somebody said with a arnie accent. ” Weeeeeeve got to get ouuuuuuuuuuut of heeeeeeeeeeeeay.
17 KK harpooned, that didnt happen in the 1 thru 2 kk. WTF.
18. poor KK drugged out of his mind, morsel distraught.
19. Where did they put him on the boat. he was as big as it?
20, I can’t keep this up. I think I’m not going to be able to have a coherent thought after this. This must end.
