A week ago last Sunday as I was watching the latest going’s on in Iran on CNN, when our Sumsung Plasma TV took a ginormous krep. It started by doing some weird triangular pixalation from right to left on the screen. At first I thought this was due to the HD cable channels. We’ve had some issues on the HD channels recently so I flipped over to analog and it was doing the same thing. Not good, not good at all. I thought maybe it was still the cable company’s fault (sorry Van, it’s NEVER Comcast’s fault LOL) and decided I would power cycle the modem to see if that would rectify the situation. But before I could get my a$$ of the sofa and unplug it, the whole screen went blank. Deep dark blank. Nooooooooooooo!!elevenses!! What the h*ll am I supposed to do now? Kaos without a TV is like a day without sunshine or a normal day up here from December to April. So I went to bed hoping the plasma pixies would come during the night and when I awoke the TV would be good as new. I got up and the first thing I did was check the TV, deader than a liberal’s economic policies. FAIL!!!11! I then called the Geek Squad, a perfect name, no? They asked all the pertinent questions to ensure I was who I said I was and informed me the next service call available was Thursday. I questioned why it would take so long and they said that they were booked until then. Probably because of a rash of service calls on plasma TV’s I thought to myself. I responded to the Techie that somebody will be here at the appointed time, I’m always here. Where I’m I gonna go? Don’t they know I never leave my house except for beer and golf? Sheesh, some people. Well back to the story, the service guy comes and runs a bunch of tests on it. Menu screen, nothing, diagnostic screen, nothing. He then logs on to the Samsung website and does some more research. Still nothing. Then he starts a live chat with them and lo and behold the entire TV is shot. Great, this is gonna cost me, I know it. He goes into my account and checks to see what warranty I have on the TV. Well guess what, this is to all you people who scoff at buying extended warranties, BLOW ME. Everything is covered until August 2010. If I didn’t have this it would have cost me over $1100 dollars to fix it. Yes, $1100. Oh yeah, guess what the fix is? That’s right, a whole new TV. Ok, now we have a solution to the problem which leads to another problem, when are they going get me the new TV. The techie calls his dispatch to find out when it will arrive and he states like it’s just another day at the park, July 7th. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! 11 friggin more days without my electronic brain. I reluctantly agree to the timetable and wonder what I’m gonna do for 11 days, what about my wife and Food TV and my daughter and ICarly, me and the Hitler channel? Here’s some things I’ve learned.
- You can listen to Sports Center on ESPN and pretty much get the same satisfaction level.
- I’m going to bed much earlier than before, hence no need for the midday nap session.
- I would kill myself if the same thing happened to my computer.
- Hulu rocks..
Remember a few years ago when TV sucked? Sometimes I miss those days. I don’t think I could live 11 days without it anymore. In honor of your busted tube, here are some of my favorite TV-related quotes from The Simpsons:
“When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle. They’re on TV!”
TV Announcer: “The following is a public service announcement. Excessive alcohol consumption can cause liver damage and cancer of the rectum.” Homer: “Mmm… beer.”
“It’s not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day.”
“I always get the blame around here! Who threw a cane at the TV? Who fell into the china hutch? Who got their dentures stuck on the toilet?” (Grampa Simpson)
Homer: “Let’s just plop them in front of the TV. I was raised in front of the TV and I turned out TV.”
I’ve been watching a bunch of “Family Guy” episodes on Hulu when everybody else is in bed. Very funny. I think Stewie is my new favorite character. One of my favorite lines from the Simpson’s is when Homer invents a device to apply make up. He points and shoots at Marg and she exclaims, “Homer, you got it set on whore”! Almost wet my pants.